Who are your people?

For southerners, everything is about people and connections, but not in the modern-day sense.

For us, it is about knowing where we belong within our culture, and we accomplish this by knowing all the branches of every family tree of every person we've ever met.

That is why 75 percent of my phone calls and texts consist of someone from home graciously updating me on new connections and new people (a.k.a. who's pregnant and who got married... usually in that order).

The conversations aren't short either.

Perhaps we're just nosey, but I think it's more than that.

I think that since the Civil War southerners have struggled to find their identity outside of stereotypes.

So all we know to do is check with everyone around us and see what they are doing so we know how to proceed.

We have such a rich heritage, but we're told that we should be ashamed of our history. People forget that the south did more than have slaves.

We gave the world Dolly Parton. You're welcome.

We gave the world Daisy Dukes. You're welcome.

Last, but certainly not least, we gave the world NASCAR. You're really welcome.

See? The south has given plenty of things to the world besides slavery, oppression and years of turmoil.

Yet, southerners still aren't sure of their place in the world.

Personally, I think part of the reason southern women are taught to be so demure is that we aren't really sure how we are supposed to be.

Southern belles are too reminiscent of the antebellum south and gun-toting trashy white girls are too reminiscent of... well, gun-toting trashy white girls.

Antebellum

This isn't a girl, but it summed it up.

But for a southerner, no stereotype will hurt our feelings until someone speaks about our upbringing or our people. Then we take it personal, because if we are anything we are raised well.

It has been brought to my attention that since I moved to Savannah I have overused the phrase "They just weren't raised right." And I will defend every use.

What can I say? Southern women can spot a bad apple from a mile away.

So bless your heart if your momma raised you right! And if she didn't, then really bless your heart...