The Old Southern Way of Life

They say that when they are little, every girl wants to marry her father.  Well I don't know who "they" are, but they are right about one thing - I want to marry a man who is southern like my father.  I also want to be a southern woman like my mother.  To me, they are the epitome of old southern.

So what is old southern?  Well, I'm glad you asked.

To me, old southern is a way of life.  I think that a lot of southerners today just want the title of southern so they can throw a rebel flag in the back of their truck and not be accountable for knowing its historical significance.  I'm pretty sure that if Nathan Bedford Forrest were alive he would be mighty confused about how things are going down these days.  I digress.

What makes my father a true southern gentleman is hard to pinpoint.  I attribute it mostly to his actions and his language (he is fluent in old southern phrasing, which is not to be confused with old man speak).

He would never dream of letting me open a door for myself.

He would never dream of letting me (or anyone I bring with me) pay for anything, but he does appreciate the offer.

He calls every woman he knew as a child "lady."  As in, "My mom was friends with a real nice lady..."

He rarely walks in front of me.

All of these actions and words show the utmost respect for me, but he's this way with any woman.  It's a type of respect southern men had for southern women that is unfortunately slowly falling by the wayside.  

And bless her heart, my mother is cut from the same old southern cloth.  Since I was a young girl she has unconsciously groomed me to be a perfect wife and run an impeccable household.

I know the proper way to clean a house.

I know how to organize a fabulous dinner party (and I own a variety of serving sets in different patterns so every occasion is as color coordinated as possible).

I know every hilarious southern phrase invented (mostly church related as are most southernisms) so that I can always sound like a lady.  (Examples: Heavens to Betsy, Lordy Be, Holy Moses, Christ Almighty...)

Sidenote: For the record, I have no idea who Betsy is or why we associate her with heaven, but it's sure a fun phrase to say!

On the surface, all of my mother's actions show how to be a docile woman that tends to the house and men, but when it's a lifestyle lived, you realize that it's not about docility, it's about respect.

All of this shows the contradictory nature of the south, especially the old south.  Men treat women as though they are the backbone of southern society.  Women conduct their lives so as to make sure the men can be manly and not worry with "woman's work" as my uncle calls it.

It's a perfect collision of respect and love that I don't see or feel as much in today's south.  That's why I want to marry a man that is old southern like my father and why I want to be a good southern woman like my mother. 

If you've never encountered a true southern woman or man, well then bless your heart!