How Do You Spell That?

I've lived in the south my entire life.  So, when I made the move from North Carolina to Savannah, Georgia I assumed I would fit right in.  It's called the "hostess city of the south" for God's sake.  What better place for a member of the southern brethren to maintain some anonymity.

Nope.  I stick out like a sore thumb.

I failed to calculate the amount of transplants living in Savannah.  Add to that the sheer number of tourists on any given day and I'm lucky if I can locate a native southerner.  My plan failed.  Now more than ever, I spend the majority of my time explaining my southern-ness.  The questions, along with the confused expressions, never stop.

Why do you bless everyone's hearts?
What the heck is a buggy?
Why does your accent make me want to listen to banjo music?
Your family has its own moonshiner?!... Wait, what's moonshine?

The most common thing I hear is "You should write a book about all the weird southern phrases you say.  They're hilarious!" Well, Jeff Foxworthy beat me to the punch on that, but there is no reason I can't finally appease my obvious northern (or non-southern) fan base and continue on a more applicable route.

I can imagine that this all sounds very tribal, very "we hate outsiders," but for me the south is a place where I can speak the native language and not be asked, "How do you spell that?"  No matter how many vowels I add or consonants I ignore, a true southerner will always be able to understand me.  So it's not a matter of exclusion, just convenience I suppose.