"Well bless your heart, Darlin'!" I said as I clutched my hand over my heart.
"..." (confused stare).
I suppose it's time for the "bless your heart" conversation.
It's a staple in every true southern woman's vocabulary (and some men's, but that a whole different conversation in the south). It has multiple meanings and only one of them is good. And apparently it's one of the most baffling phrases a southerner can utter to an outsider... bless their hearts.
Being born and raised in the south, I was completely unaware that this phrase (among others) was a southern expression. I just assumed that people all over the country were blessing each other's hearts. I probably bless 10-20 hearts on a slow day... and that's nothing compared to my mother. She blesses more people than the Pope.
So what does it mean? How, as an outsider, can you know which way you're being blessed (good or bad)? Well it's simple Darlin'! Let's start with the genuinely nice ones since they are easier to spot.
Genuine Bless Your Hearts
Genuine admissions of bless your heart are meant to express sympathy, empathy, or pity and generally involve a hand gesture of some sort (usually a hand over heart motion). Concerned eyes and an empathetic voice are usually a staple as well.
Example 1:
"I've had a dreadful cold all week..."
"Well heavens to betsy, that's just terrible. Bless your little heart!"
Example 2:
"This has been such a long week, I don't know if I will make it through!"
"Well bless your heart Darlin'. You let me know if I can do anything for you!"
See? Easy. Genuine tone, genuine situations, and usually a genuine hand gesture. So now the hard part is distinguishing between the nice and the seemingly nice.
Rude Bless Your Hearts
As most of you may know, true, old school, southern women do not like to talk about things that are considered inappropriate and a good southern woman would never talk badly about anyone... directly anyway. So that is where bless your heart comes into play.
When a southern woman wants to say something rude or unbecoming of a lady, she will involve the phrase bless your heart, because it makes it sound more pleasant. Clever, huh? That is how southern woman can be bitches without being bitches. Just like wearing pearls, you are always classy as long as you add bless your heart!
Things to watch for: Shaking of the head, pursed lips, rolling or wide eyes, and a patronizing voice.
Example 1:
"Bless her heart, she's just not very pretty."
Example 2:
"Well bless her little heart, her momma never taught her to not dress like a tramp."
Do you understand now? Good!
And if you don't... well, bless your heart!
My dad says "Bless his cotton socks" in select circumstances which I suppose is the Midwestern version of bless your heart.
ReplyDeleteI am so loving your blog.
-Hannah
It's great! A friend of mine is a genuine South African lady and she blesses my heart(the nice way) all the time. I guess that's really south, right.
ReplyDeleteIda
Love it! I didn't realize how much I say "bless your heart" until you and I talked about this post the other day. I realize I say it a lot and it's usually not the nice "bless your heart." I also fall into the category of people who feel it's completely okay to say something really mean about someone as long as you end it with "bless her/his heart."
ReplyDeleteHaha, I have the same problem. I never noticed how often I said it in a mean way until I started analyzing it... yet I still feel like I'm being somewhat nice when I say it. Weird.
ReplyDelete