Thesis, W.J. Cash and Me

It's about to be a long summer, friends. I've almost completed my MFA in Writing with only one thing standing in my way: my thesis, which I'm scheduled to defend on August 20. D-Day.

My thesis is based on proving and disproving the ideas put forth in W.J. Cash's book The Mind of the South. Before things start sounding too academic, allow me to clear this up for those of you who haven't read this 1941 treasure.

Cash, who incidentally hails from the piedmont of North Carolina, wrote and published a book that essentially bursts the bubble of Southern unreality. What do I mean by that exactly? By that I mean he claims the antebellum South wasn't quite as wistful and glamorous as it's made out to be. By that I mean he claims white men (and all men) worship white woman without just cause. By that I mean he basically said we were all full of horse shit and no great ideas had ever come out of South.

Crazy, right? Except that on many occasions he is -- dare I say it -- correct.

So the long and short of it is that my thesis will prove that he is right and that his arguments still have merit, but that those imperfections and flaws of character don't define the South. They mean we're bad people and they certainly don't mean we're stupid.

Bored yet? Good, because I'm not done yet.

One exciting discovery I made when re-reading ol' Cash is that he isn't as boring as I remember. I recall moaning and groaning my way through his text when I was forced to read it in undergrad. Now I'm willingly (sort of) picking it up, dusting it off and starting the journey all over again. And it doesn't suck.

I think I'm starting to grow up. Gasp!

Being Southern is Expensive

If there is anything Southern men know, it is that Southern women are expensive.

You may be wondering, why is that? Well, I'm glad you asked.

Women in the North like to spend money on clothes and the latest $2,000 handbag. And don't get me wrong, Southern women can do that kind of spending too, but that's not our main focus.

We spend money on people around us. Hell, we're expected to spend money on people around us. Like most Southern women, my momma raised me to never show up at someone's house empty-handed and never let an occasion pass uncelebrated.

That requires gifts. Gifts equal money. Southern women are an expensive bunch.

No gift is too small or insignificant.

Here are some occasions that would require gifts (This might be something as small as a card):

• Mary-Jane is having a baby
• Louise is turning 30
• Mary-Ann's oldest child is graduating from kindergarten 
• Jim-Bob is retiring
• Kathy-Lee got a new job
• Lurlene got straight A's
• Jolene sneezed and her momma thinks it's a touch of the flu
• Raylon is having a few people over for a bonfire

In the South, gift giving is not about the occasion; it's about the thought. Southern women want everyone, and I mean everyone, in their life to know they're loved.

From the outside it probably looks like we do this out of obligation or to keep up appearances, and on some level I'm sure that's true. But for me, I just love seeing someone's face light up when they open a truly thoughtful gift or read a thoughtfully written card. 

Sometimes I think Hallmark should just give Southern women free reign. Give us unlimited access to heart-warming cards and we could give you world peace. Never underestimate the power of a thoughtful gift, my friends.